Happy International Women’s Day

Today is International Women’s Day, and at work, they had various activities lined up to celebrate. One of the activities was recognition from associates; some mentioned wives, mothers, older sisters, even customers got shoutouts. Any woman that anyone wanted to include and celebrate. Not a single person nominated me. I know I’ve only been there three weeks, but clearly, my presence radiates everywhere I go. I’m a blessing that has graced their presence. So indeed, someone should’ve acknowledged me.

Is any of this flying? No? Fine…
Well, I guess that leaves me no choice. In honor of International Women’s Day, I’ve decided I recognize myself for all my hard work, dedication, and skills that I’ve acquired with little or no assistance. Thank you for being here to partake in my shameless display since I have this convenient platform upon which I can mount my high horse. Before I get started, let’s all give me a round of applause for being astounding and acknowledge my accomplishments in life. I bowed ahead of time just for you. Thank you.

1. I didn’t lose a single schoolyard fight from 1st-grade to 11th grade.
2. I learned how to operate and cook on a gas stove when I was still about the height of a stove. My first recipe? Crispy-cooked bologna with cheese melted in the middle. I used to love them because they looked like a hat filled with cheese.
3. I taught myself to swim by 7 or 8; I was one of two children allowed to swim in and jump off the high diving boards on the deep end at the public pools growing up. (The other was my sister, we learned together, but I was first.)
4. I was reading at a 2nd-grade level at age nine, so I taught myself to read, and by age 11 in 6th grade, I had caught up to my classmates. I couldn’t stop reading, and by the first standardized test of 7th grade, I was at a high school level; by 8th grade, my reading and comprehension maxed out the tests. (correction I was reading at a college level before I finished 7th grade).
5. I taught myself how to use chopsticks at age ten, following the instructions on the wrapper (I had the correct position but held them awkwardly low until I was 19).
6. I taught myself how to draw starting at age 11 or 12 before I had ever taken a class or went to school (from reading books).
7. I taught myself how to repair my computer; I replaced the base, charging port, keyboard and upgraded my hard drive (HDD) to a solid-state drive (SSD), just to see if I could. (Everyone learned to make bread during the pandemic; I learned how to repair my laptop.)
8. I made it into a six-figure tax bracket by 30 without a degree, all thanks to my illuminating smile and my smart-ass mouth.
9. I can fit a whole large jawbreaker in my mouth.
10. I can also fit a whole chili cheese hotdog (with bun) in my mouth.
11. My therapist says I’m the best patient. I’m waiting on my official award or certificate.
12. I maintain having a mental illness without medication out of pure stubbornness… and abiding by a set of rules, regulations, and boundaries I’ve set for myself. I have a whole body of government that oversees my actions, and it’s all in my head (and my therapist’s notes).
13. I graduated high school with extra credits. I took too many classes because I started my senior year, missing two years of credits.
14. I took advantage of a program and started college the summer I turned 17. I started college as a freshman four days after my high school graduation.
15. My first year in college, I held elected positions in college with two student unions. I was also a member of a couple of other organizations.
16. I’ve survived a life-threatening injury and have come out mostly intact (evil eyes leg).
17. I’m an amazing cat mom.
18. I’m an amazing mother, even though I’ve never had a child of my own.

Encore!

As I sat here writing this intending to be more humorous, I still ended up crying. In recent months I’ve come to realize that I’ve spent too much of my life combating lies. They tried to convince me that I was stupid, a failure, or useless and told me I would never amount to anything; every time they knocked me down, I got back up, I never stopped. My greatest strength has been my ability to ignore expectations and create my own. I believe in myself enough to make progressive and active changes to accomplish everything I have been told I can’t. I deserve all the gold stars.

And because this is my blog and I’m the boss of you while you’re here, if you’re a human, go find your reflection and yell, “I’m fucking amazing and deserve gold stars!” …because that’s the ridiculous shit I do to accomplish basically anything.

I call it the Desi-way.

Me