Kadi
I once held warmth
And she held me
Her eyes beamed rays
With love so free
So clear in my mind
Those hugs I still feel
Laughing, playing, happy
Smiling at me still
This sweet baby girl
Who I love so much
If I could make a wish
It’d be her touch
Every memory of us past
In my heart until my last
4/28/2011 to 5/30/2013
I can only imagine how amazing and beautiful a person you’d be growing into.
I was going to post this in May in memory of her, but I’d allowed my focus to go to someone that didn’t deserve it. Kadi wasn’t mine, I was seeing her father, and I wasn’t his. We had a complicated back and forth but never entered into a relationship. I loved him, and he didn’t love me. Just before I’d stopped talking to her father in 2012, I’d started drawing this portrait of her for him. It was my favorite picture I had of her, she’d been eating a pickle with Kool-Aid powder, and the red dye from the packet was smeared across her face… she was so adorable. Months after we stopped talking, I entered a toxic relationship (that would end up as 10 years of being single), and he asked me to delete her pictures… and I did. I regret that choice I made every day because I ended up with no pictures of her. Just this one I drew and my own memories. I miss how she would grab my face and grab me by my hand and lead me around. I’d have given her anything and everything.
finding himdag 