Beyond the Pain: Finding Solace and Support in Unexpected Places

This past month of healing has been a period of inspiration filled with hopes and plans for the future. I’m eager to return to work, begin physical therapy, initiate several side hustles, and intensify my focus on inner self-work. In this solitude, I’ve found profound peace and comfort.

Currently, I am about four weeks into recovering from my fourteenth surgery — my third ACL reconstruction and the second this year. Despite the grueling recovery, I conscientiously minimized my use of prescribed opiates, opting instead for at-home Ketamine treatments from Better U Care to ease my pain and counteract mental health effects. Remarkably, I was opiate-free within a week post-surgery.

My journey through recovery was not solitary, thanks to Mehi Mohto (meaning “fire carried on the head”) and his mother, Je’e U’apa Tachchu (meaning “mother arrives carrying love”), a licensed nurse. Their genuine and unconditional love and support contrasted with the isolation I’ve felt in recent years, as individuals drifted from my life due to my pain-driven volatility or as a consequence of setting necessary boundaries.

Before the surgery, I faced the risk of homelessness for about six weeks. If not for the generosity of Mehi Mohto’s family offering me refuge after three days in a seedy hotel, I would have likely ended up sleeping in my car with my cat. Being resource-oriented, I reached out to my tribe for emergency housing assistance, but they stopped responding to my calls and emails. The kindness and shelter provided by Mehi Mohto’s family shielded me from immense stress and suffering — a type of ordeal I’ve previously faced but never under the compounded weight of chronic pain and disability.

Over the past year, Mehi Mohto persistently suggested I reach out to his mother. After months of hesitation, I finally connected with her last year, forming a fulfilling, heartfelt relationship that blossomed into kinship. This experience allowed me to understand and feel what true unconditional love is, looks, and feels like. During my move and while I stayed with them, they asked for nothing and expected nothing. Informing or gently correcting me when committing one faux pas or the other. I hadn’t realized the Pavlovian responses my body held onto from years of yelling, berating, and being expected to provide until those factors were absent.

While there’s no expectation or debt to be paid, I owe them for saving my life and hope that, in time, I can pay them back for everything they’ve done. As I steadily work to get back on my feet (literally and figuratively), I hope to bring them as much joy, kindness, and love as they’ve brought to me. Now that my pain has stabilized and I’m down to once-a-week ketamine treatments, I’m feeling well enough to return to writing this blog.

I’ve also started a few side hustles, which you can find under Desert Way Enterprises on my blog’s home page. I’m also accepting donations as my savings and the loan I took out were depleted, along with my credit score after vacating the unsafe living conditions and deceptive pretenses of my previous residence (tangent). In my next post, I’ll share how my experiences with Mehi Mohto’s family reinspired the lessons I learned and the stories that shaped me. I look forward to sharing more next year, including how my grandmother’s lessons inspired me to teach myself to read and overcome obstacles.

AI transparency and ethics note: This blog has been reviewed and edited with the assistance of Chat GPT-4 technology to enhance punctuation, grammar, and readability.